It is your choice

Good morning all,  I just wanted to say that I hope everyone had a great weekend.  The weekends are typically my time to just let go and relax and gear up for another week.  I wanted to start off today by saying that I have trouble sleeping on Sunday nights.  I have constant thoughts running through my head of the worst case scenarios of Monday and I forever fight sleep on Sunday.  I woke up at the fine hour of 04:30 and could not go back to sleep.  I was picturing the negative events of the past and claiming that they would happen to me on this day.  I often times just lay in bed thinking about everything and driving myself crazy for no good reason.  This process has been with me since I started working with people.  I am an introvert and often times it is difficult to let go and just be myself around a group of people.  I try to avoid social interaction when I can and it is a curse that I have given to myself.  There is no rational reason as to why I do not enjoy working with people, often times I hear that I am good at it.  But in the end I fear working with them, I often dream of doing something where it is just me and the computer, that way I no longer have to fear what Monday brings.  But I am here today to ask you to try to break that mold, break the mold that anxiety has cast over your life and see if we can overcome our own mental barriers.  For me it is simple, try to not think about the events of the future and not paint them in a negative light and worry about the events before they even happen.  No matter how much preparation I do I will still feel the anxiety of those situations.  But we do have a choice, a choice to not let the anxiety of what could be stand in the way of our happiness.  I know that this is a major work in progress in my life and I do not hide that fact.  From my previous post "from the outside", it may appear that I am doing well, but on the inside I am a ball of nerves.  I know that the fear is irrational and that I should not dwell on things, but it is difficult to do so.  I know that many times we are faced with certain events in our future that we dread- but today let's work on not dreading them.  Let's embrace the future and what it holds, we should not fear what the future has in store for us.  I know that this is easier said than done, believe me as I type this I am struggling on how to accomplish this for myself.  But that is the beauty of it all, we are in this fight together.  I take comfort in knowing that others may feel the same way that I do towards certain situations and it relaxes me to know that I am not fighting this fight alone.  We have the choice to let those thoughts drown us or we can work each and every day to overcome those thoughts one at a time.  I am not asking for you to just throw away your thoughts and just move on, lord knows if I could I would have done that ages ago.  For today I am asking you to let go of one of those thoughts and let a positive thought enter your mind.  If we work on replacing the negative thoughts with a positive one, than maybe we can start to overcome what holds us back in life.

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