Depression Can Happen

Have you ever posted something on social media and you thought it was great, but you were ignored?  Have you scrolled down your feed to see someone else post something around the same topics and they get more attention than you do?  Hurts doesn't it...  Hurts to see the thing that you thought was important enough to share with the world, only to be over looked.  I post on this blog to help or at least try to help people who may be having a bad day or experiencing some of the same things that I face, but at times I doubt whether or not people just see another post on their social media and scroll right past it, that is fine with me honestly.  Maybe that day they didn't need to hear what I have to say.  However we often get caught up in what our internet persona perceives about us.  We often times say well I got over 100 likes on this post, so I must be popular.  I must post something that a lot of people like, however if you post something that ge...

A lot of times it is difficult to write these blogs as I wonder what people think about me putting my struggles out there for everyone to read.  I often times feel judged, like for instance when I meet new people and friend me on facebook...  I often times think they will regret that action once they see a blog post.  I feel like me posting this kind of thing will drive more people away than help, but yet I continue regardless of the fact that my fear stands in my way.  I hate that I feel that my struggle will effect the friendships and family members around me.  I can't help but feel that way sadly.  You may be wondering... Well the title of this post has nothing to do with it so far, but I am getting there.  I feel that being transparent in how I feel, helps show people that others feel this way.  So now that you know where I stand at this current moment... Onward we go! I love seeing people happy, at time I get jealous of their happiness and...

"I spent my time back then thinking of nothing but them.  The dead ends of my thoughts the last friends in my head.  And you heard me you heard me you heard me my friend.  Sent the ship over seas to save me from death.  Through the storms I have weathered through the dark and the rain.  You sent me the ship that I sail on today.  And the boat sails on like you sang in your song.  And my mind feels clearer several years on And the ship that was sailing on.  Those storm ridden seas.  Was my heart and your words gave me heart back to me My mind was a turbine that fueled all the storms,  And those words were the courage in which calmness took form.  Through the storms I have weathered.  Through the dark and the rain.  You sent me the ship that I sail on today.  And the boat sails on like you sang in your song. And my mind feels clearer several years on. And the ship that was sailing on. Those storm ridden seas. Was...

Have you ever driven by someone's home and noticed how nice their front yard is?  Often times everything appears to be in order and beautiful.  I was mowing the yard this weekend and thought about how often we see things from one side of the equation.  I put out some mulch and cleaned up the yard a little bit and saw an immediate improvement.  I was excited to see how nice it looked until I walked into the back yard...  Where all of the toys and other things reside.  While working on the back yard, I realized that often times I just neglect the back and think that well most people don't see it so why does it matter if I take the extra time to make it look nice.  My kids go back there and throw the toys around anyway so what difference does it make if I pick them up on a daily basis?  Can the same be said about you?  Do you present to the world this picture of a front yard that is put together and beautiful but in the back are you a mess?...

So I joined a kickball team....  Most of the people I had no idea who they were and they didn't know me at all.  So I went with it, one of my best friends convinced me that I should play because it would be fun.  I agree that I have really enjoyed being active in a team sport again, it has lifted the spirits a lot.  However I was speaking with someone last night and we were joking around and something was said that hit hard.  I wont repeat what was said but at that moment it hurt, but once I got to thinking about it, I took it as something I could grow from and not let the words bring me down.  I haven't put myself out there lately because I have felt that my anxiety and or depression makes me less than someone else.  My personality type is very introverted and it is really tough for me to handle large groups of people or new groups of people.  A lot of times I feel like the outsider and I feel like people are looking at me as the kid who doesn't...

Dear OCD, I hate you.  I hate everything about OCD.  I have struggled with OCD for quite a while now, some almost 20 years.  I will never forget the day that I really started to recognize just exactly what it was and what I was doing.  I am a counter, I typically count to three or sets of three.  Wow...  Typing it out like that makes it seem even worse..  Oh well, here we go.  Strap on your seat belts because this is going to get somewhat bumpy.  When I started counting I did it as a way to cope with something.  I had anxiety, but I was too young to understand what it was and or how to stop it from happening.  However as counter intuitive as this may be, I used OCD to relieve that anxiety.  I used the counting and the rituals as a way to stop that anxiety from building up inside and it was a way for me to feel like I could get rid of it.  However OCD only builds anxiety...  SMH...  I thought that I was getting r...

Today is one of those days I guess.  I got up bright and early and went to my workout.  I felt good until I started the drive to work.  Lately it I have been letting my emotions get the best of me at work and I know it shows.  I have had a hard time biting my tongue as of late and have just said what I want, I know that is something that needs improving but I am taking it one step at a time.  Most of the time I try to be uplifting and positive but today is just one of those days that I feel down.  Not really sure why to be honest, but it is one of those days where I wish I could just stay home and not do much.  I just feel sad, not sad for anything in particular but just blue.  I know that these days come and go and luckily I have not had one in a long time.  But today is the exception to the rule I guess.  I know that a lot of times we tend to make up scenarios in our mind that play out and I think I have done just that.  Have you...