Down

Today is one of those days I guess.  I got up bright and early and went to my workout.  I felt good until I started the drive to work.  Lately it I have been letting my emotions get the best of me at work and I know it shows.  I have had a hard time biting my tongue as of late and have just said what I want, I know that is something that needs improving but I am taking it one step at a time.  Most of the time I try to be uplifting and positive but today is just one of those days that I feel down.  Not really sure why to be honest, but it is one of those days where I wish I could just stay home and not do much.  I just feel sad, not sad for anything in particular but just blue.  I know that these days come and go and luckily I have not had one in a long time.  But today is the exception to the rule I guess.  I know that a lot of times we tend to make up scenarios in our mind that play out and I think I have done just that.  Have you ever said something that you replay over and over again in your mind and every time you think about it you cringe?  Well that happened yesterday and I just want to hide lol.  I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just tired, emotionally tired.  A lot has been going on lately that is not ideal (albeit we have had good news thus far), but the magnitude of the situations still take their toll.  I am an introvert and it is tough for me to put up and exterior that everything is rosy when sometimes I just want to say that I am tired and that I am trying to be strong but it is tough.  It is tough to put up that exterior each day, for me that is more taxing than a lot of what I face.  I know that being strong is a must in this day and age but every now and then I think we should just decompress and allow those emotions to run their course.  It is not a good thing to keep everything bottled up inside because it will tend to eat away at you and your soul.  I know that it is tough to begin to process certain emotions but if done correctly you can begin to heal.  My struggle is mine to bear as your struggle is yours to bear.  Not everyone goes through the same emotions and or copes with them the same.  You have to find out what works best for you in the given situation.  A lot of times I tend to pray about the situation, hoping that one day a break through will happen.  But all and all if we help each other through the struggle, it may not take it away but it can make carrying that weight a little less.  I feel like being candid with this post brings things back to life, not only for myself but for you the reader.  I don't want you to read these posts and think that I have everything figured out, because that cannot be further from the truth.  I battle daily just like each of you do, but what I can tell you is that each day is worth the battle.  So no matter what you are facing today, know this:  You are worth the battle each and everyday.  When you feel that the world is too much to face, try and keep going.  The struggle is real but the reward for going through the struggle may be greater than what you are facing today.  Try to push a little further today than you did yesterday.  You may find that strength that you have been looking for.

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