Front Yard

Have you ever driven by someone's home and noticed how nice their front yard is?  Often times everything appears to be in order and beautiful.  I was mowing the yard this weekend and thought about how often we see things from one side of the equation.  I put out some mulch and cleaned up the yard a little bit and saw an immediate improvement.  I was excited to see how nice it looked until I walked into the back yard...  Where all of the toys and other things reside.  While working on the back yard, I realized that often times I just neglect the back and think that well most people don't see it so why does it matter if I take the extra time to make it look nice.  My kids go back there and throw the toys around anyway so what difference does it make if I pick them up on a daily basis?  Can the same be said about you?  Do you present to the world this picture of a front yard that is put together and beautiful but in the back are you a mess?  Does your outward appearance project an idea that you have everything together, but deep down inside you are trying to hold everything together?  We often times forget to focus on the deep down emotions that help drive us and we tend to put up what we want others to see.  Our front yards get all the work but our back yards, which drives us, dont get any nurturing.  I often times tend to put up a front that I am doing well (some days are better than others at this lol).  I try my best to be who I once was, but the old me is a memory.  I have to work on who I have become and not try to just put up an appearance that everything is ok.  Some days everything is NOT OK and that is OK.  There will be days in this life that challenge us to our very core and if we work on who we are deep down, we can overcome those days easier than we could in the past.  Lately I have been acting as if everything is better but I have been struggling lately with some of the things that life has given me recently.  I often times still feel like the outsider and often times feel that people just tolerate me dont enjoy my company like they used to.  I struggle with this on a daily basis.  I feel that the person who I once was is more likable than who I am now.  For example, every time I write on this blog, I feel that I will be judged by what I say.  That may not be the case but for those who don't know me all that well, will this stand in the way of them getting to know who I really am?  Or do they not care about that and will push through it anyway to get to know the real me.  I dont want to push people away because I experience something that more people in this world experience on a daily basis, I just happen to put it out there.

So for today, focus on the back yard.  While keeping up the appearance of everything is going well, focus on what really makes you you.  Take the time today to start to not just put those emotions to the side and worry about them later.  Take the time to really work on who you are deep down.  We need to put emphasis on that as well because our outward appearance is only doing to take us so far.  Take time today to focus on you, focus on becoming better.  Take the time to focus on the other areas in your life instead of just the outward appearance.  You will find the more you work, the better you will become.

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