Pain and Resentment

Here we go....  Hang onto your seats...  What is pain and resentment?  What does that look like to you?  Often times we take that hurt that harmed us and we carry it around with us for a very long time.  I find myself carrying the things of the past that I cannot go back and fix.  I find that I let those past events shape my future, the way that I treat my relationships and the way that I treat my kids.  I often times swore to myself that I would not treat people the way that I had been treated but here I was doing those same things to them.  It was a cycle that I thought I could break on my own and that I thought I was strong enough to fight against that by myself.  I was wrong...  Dead wrong.  Often times we struggle with those pains that we felt so long ago and we carry that with us and it weighs us down.  The burden can become so heavy that we allow it to steal the life from us.  We allow that resentment for whatever situation to become a crutch that we stand on.  We let that pain become our identity.  We let it shape our thoughts and actions into what that person and or event saw in us.  But why...?  Why should we allow ourselves to be eaten up by something that the other person may not even think about anymore?  I used to work for billing in a hospital and let me tell you it was hell.  The amount of people that would come in to see me and yell over the smallest things and speak to me in a manner in which made me feel so small that I could just disappear.  However I never sent out a bill and or put charges on an account, I was simply the first face they saw when they came into that office.  For the better part of two years I received negative comment after negative comment from people who came into that office - personal statements as if I was the enemy.  As if I could control the situation that was occurring.  Their words that they spoke to me I still carry with me today.  It is a burden that weighs heavy on my shoulders but it is a burden that I am willing to carry so that I can learn to not let others words or pain get me down.  We must learn to move forward over time because people can come and go from your life in an instant and can leave a lasting impression, but that impression does not have to shape the individual you want to become.  Become stronger than what you were told, become stronger than what you went through.  Rise above any imperfection of man kind and live your life.  Enjoy life, we are here for only feels like a vapor so make the best of it.  Take those burdens that you have been carrying around and lay them down.  Be the change that breaks that cycle you have been stuck in.  That cycle of negativity and pain, let them go.  Take that past pain and turn it around.  You may not feel it yet but you are stronger than you were, stronger than you could ever imagine.  Don't let anyone else make you feel less important that who you are.  You are unique and you are an amazing person.  Don't give up because the weight of what you carry is heavy, learn to push forward and become stronger.  You may surprise yourself in the end.

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